Christmas in Cedarwood Read online

  “I’m okay.” He forced the negative thoughts aside. “You’re fine, too. Why don’t we get moving? Let’s have fun.” When Ashley left the room, he followed him downstairs. Wyatt was in a bright green shirt with a reindeer on the front. He’d wound a gold garland around his head like a band and more garland around his arms and waist.

  “Whoa,” Colt said. “Bold choices.”

  “The kids are decorating themselves,” Wyatt said. He tugged on his shirt. “I need lights.”

  “We don’t have any battery-operated ones.” Ashley grabbed Wyatt’s coat. “Get out to the car. You can wear your coat on the way home.”

  “Cool.” Wyatt zipped away.

  Ashley shook his head. “This is pure Wyatt. He hasn’t had any candy all day. He’s just that excited.”

  “So are you.” He threaded his arms around Ashley. If he wanted a good night, he had to put in the effort. “I want to strip you down, spank your ass until you scream and make you beg for me.”

  Ashley shivered and curled into Colt. “I’d love that.”

  “I know you would.” He kissed his boyfriend. “I’ll make you beg so much.”

  “Quietly.” Ashley smoothed his palm over Colt’s chest. “I can’t wait.”

  He squeezed Ashley’s ass. “You’ll love it.”

  “I will.” Ashley rubbed his nose along Colt’s jaw, then chin. “I miss our us time. It doesn’t happen enough.”

  “We have a kid.” But he knew what Ashley meant. They didn’t spend enough time together in bed. Usually he was falling into bed about the time Ashley had to rise for school.

  “Darn that parenting.” Ashley chuckled. “We’ll get a handle on this soon enough.”

  “We will.” He swatted Ashley. “Get your coat. I want to get there so we can have fun, then come home to have our own kind of fun.”

  A shiver raced through Ashley. “Yes.” He let go and picked up his coat and Wyatt’s, then offered the keys over to Colt. “You drive.”

  “Will do.” Coat and keys in hand, he picked up his phone and wallet. He should check his notifications, but not yet. He wanted to have fun first. Colt followed Ashley out to the SUV. He put his shoes on and climbed behind the wheel. “Ready?” He glanced back at Wyatt in the rearview mirror. He loved the little family he and Ashley had created.

  “Ready.” Wyatt held up his hands.

  Ashley nodded. “Me too.”

  “Then let’s go.” His pocket vibrated. He ignored the phone and opened the garage door. The diner wouldn’t rule his life for the next couple of hours. Once he’d backed out of the garage and closed the door, he drove across Cedarwood to the center of town.

  “We can park next to the store,” Ashley said. “The party isn’t open to the public.”

  “Oh? I figured it would be.” He maneuvered through the square to the bookstore lot. “Did he invite everyone from the LGBTQ support group?” He parked and switched off the SUV.

  “Most of them are from the group, yes. Plus, there’ll be friends gathered along the way and dates of friends.” Ashley unbuckled. “We know everyone invited.”

  “I wasn’t worried.” He left the SUV and helped Wyatt out of the backseat. “Come on, kid. I hear you won a book. You earned it.”

  “I have now read thirty-one books.” Wyatt notched his chin in the air. “I’m going in!” He skipped ahead of them and entered the store first.

  Ashley removed his coat and abandoned the garment in the SUV. “Instead of taking it inside and losing it.”

  “Good idea.” He removed his own coat. Colt held Ashley’s hand. Damn, he couldn’t contain his pride. He wanted everyone to see them together. He tugged Ashley close and kissed his temple. “Love you.”

  “Love you, too.” Ashley blushed. “I missed this.”

  “Me too.” Truth be told, he would love to stroll Cedarwood with Ashley more often. They should schedule time to Christmas shop together. He headed into the store. Wyatt had already joined the kids. Colt swept his gaze over the crowd. He knew many of the people at the party. Good. He liked a positive crowd. So much cheer.

  Ashley held Colt’s hand. For the first time in what seemed like forever, Colt felt like part of a couple and a normal person. He chatted with a few of the people as Ashley crossed the room to Colin and Farin. Colt spotted Matt Phillips. He’d sponsored Matt in Al-Anon. “How are you? Merry Christmas.”

  “Merry Christmas.” Matt hugged him. “It’s good to see you away from the diner. I’m great. I’m sober, clean, happy and in love. You?”

  “I’m overworked and underpaid, but hey, I’ve got the love of my life and a family. I’m happy.” He nodded. Saying those words out loud cemented his feelings. He couldn’t see his life without Ashley and Wyatt. “Is Santa bringing you something great for Christmas?”

  “I’m not sure. I didn’t ask for anything. I’ve got what I want in Aiden.” Matt laughed. “What about you?”

  “I’d love for a few extra good workers to apply at the diner. I’m tired of being short-staffed. I’m ready to bring in kids from the vocational school.” Colt hooked his fingers in his front pockets. “I’m willing to train people, but I need them to stay.”

  “Try the school. I’m sure there are a couple of students who’d love training in a local restaurant,” Matt said. “You might learn a few new tricks, too.”

  “I’m game,” Colt said. “I’m tired of staying until the asscrack of dawn because I don’t have the people. I keep losing people to the flu, too.”

  “That sucks.”

  “I hand sanitize often.” He dragged a deep breath into his lungs and exhaled. His phone vibrated again. He trusted Shelby, but shit. He didn’t want to cut out of the party early.

  “Are you okay?” Matt asked.

  He spotted Ashley with Farin and Steve. Ashley appeared blissful and at ease. No, he beamed. Colt had never seen him happier.

  “Colt.” Matt thumped him on the arm. “You’re not here, are you?”

  “I’m…” He should talk to someone. He nodded to one of the aisles and lowered his voice when Matt joined him. “I’ve had to leave Ashley and Wyatt alone a lot. I hate it, but I can’t help it. You know what I’m dealing with. If I don’t have staff, I have to jump in. I’m needed at the diner. I haven’t looked at my phone, but I know the buzzing isn’t social media notifications.”

  “Okay.” Matt cocked his head. “So?”

  “I’m not putting enough into my relationships. I know I’m not juggling things well. I feel it and see the pain in Ashley’s eyes,” Colt said. “He told me he was happy because I was around and, instead of seeing the positive, I got down on myself and started hating him. That’s messed up.”

  “Hmm.” Matt crinkled his eyebrows.

  “I can’t not be at the diner. It’s my job. I know I’m hurting Ashley. I’m missing out.” The words poured out of Colt. “I hate what I’m doing and I feel support from him, but sometimes I feel like he hates me, too.”

  “He probably does.”

  He hadn’t expected that answer from Matt. “Uh…”

  “I’m serious. You love each other, right? I know you do. If you didn’t love him, you wouldn’t be so torn up about having to leave him alone. You wouldn’t feel so guilty,” Matt said. “You know things aren’t right and a pretty good way to fix them.”

  “True.”

  “You have to decide if you’re willing to lose Ashley because of the diner. You’ve lost others for the same reason, haven’t you?” Matt asked.

  “I have,” Colt admitted. “Sucked.”

  “I know what you mean. I’ve had to go through this challenge, too, but I came to the conclusion that Aiden meant enough to balance my life at the shop and spend time with him, too,” Matt said. “But you’d better check your phone and play savior. It’s killing you not to be involved.”

  He wanted to give a quick answer and argue, but Matt was right. “I worked hard to get the diner where it is. I can’t help it if I don’t have enough staff,�
� Colt said. “Sorry.” He’d never tamp down his frustration.

  “I know. I did the same with my shop.” Matt nodded. “Just check your phone or dance with Ashley. It’s Christmas. Give yourself the gift of patience and understanding.” He clapped Colt on the shoulder. “You’ll figure it out.”

  “Thanks.” He stayed put as Matt walked away. He checked the phone and gritted his teeth. Five messages, three from Nerissa.

  Can use help

  We need you

  Understaffed. Hello?!?!?

  He groaned. She could be overly dramatic, but he didn’t like that she’d texted him three times. The two other texts had come from Shelby.

  It’s not as bad as you’re hearing. Busy, but manageable.

  Good. He liked the sound of that. He checked the newest text from Shelby.

  Russ went home sick. I’m folding. We need help.

  Fuck. Voices caught his attention and he shoved his phone into his pocket. Ashley stood at the end of the section with Chad, one of the teachers at the junior high school. Colt didn’t know Chad well. He also shouldn’t eavesdrop on their conversation, but unless he walked all the way around the shelves, he had no choice.

  “Where is he?” Chad asked.

  “I don’t have him on a leash,” Ashley said. “He’s probably talking to someone. Matt’s here. We know a lot of these people. So what?”

  Colt pressed his lips together and smothered a smile. He’d reward Ashley later.

  “Sure seems like he leaves you alone a lot,” Chad said. “I thought you’d split.”

  “We don’t have to be connected at the hip every second,” Ashley said. “We have plenty of time together at home.”

  He appreciated Ashley defending him. Plus, he wanted Chad to get the hell away from his man.

  “You’re too good for him. I mean, really. You should aim higher,” Chad said. “Like way higher.”

  For him? Colt suppressed a growl. Chad needed to step off.

  “I’ve got a kid to think about and I love Colt. That’s enough.” Ashley snorted. “You’re trying too hard. I’m happy with Colt and not looking to cheat on him.”

  Damn right. Colt pumped his fist. He loved his man, too.

  “You could be happy with me,” Chad said.

  Asshole. Colt’s phone buzzed with an incoming phone call. He checked the screen. Shelby. He couldn’t eavesdrop any longer. He rushed out of the store to the sidewalk out front. “Yes?”

  “We need help. I know it’s your night off,” Shelby said. “I wouldn’t do this if it wasn’t…” She sighed. “It’ll only be an hour. I promise. I need wait staff, someone to bus tables and another cook. We’re managing to keep up with the tables and bussing, but not cooking.”

  “Okay. It’ll be a few minutes.” He could walk over to the diner. “Let me tell Ashley.” He hated leaving, but if Shelby had caved enough to ask for help, then he was needed. She wasn’t known for overexaggerating.

  “Thanks. I’ll make it up to Ashley,” she said. “Thank you.”

  “I’ll be in.” He hung up. His business, his headache. He stepped back into the bookstore. Colin stood by the doors. “Hey.”

  “Hi.” Colin hugged him. “Are you okay? I thought you were having a fight out there. You shouted.”

  “I did?” Shit. He hadn’t realized he’d raised his voice. “I need to go.” He shoved his phone into his pocket.

  “Did someone die?” Colin asked.

  “No. It’s restaurant stuff. I need to fill in for the cook,” Colt said. “Have you seen Ashley lately?”

  “By the desk. Chad keeps bugging him.” Colin nodded. “I’m sure he’d like to escape with you. I can bring Wyatt home when the party is over.”

  “I’ll tell Ashley. Thanks.” He strode across the bookstore to Ashley. “Hey.”

  “Hi.” Ashley kissed him. “I wondered where you’d gone.”

  Chad narrowed his blue eyes and crooked his brow. “You should be here.”

  “I should.” He leaned in close to Ashley. “I need the car. Shelby called. I could walk, but it’s snowing.”

  Ashley smiled. The light dimmed in his eyes. “I understand. Think it’ll be long?”

  “I don’t know, but I’m going to try to be right back.” Colt tugged the keys from his pocket. “Want to come along? Colin said he’d bring Wyatt home.”

  “Take your time. I’ll just be underfoot.” Ashley hugged him. “I hope whatever went wrong isn’t big.”

  “You’re not upset?” Colt whispered. “Russ went home sick and I have to fill in as the cook.”

  Ashley shook his head. “Things happen. I hope Russ is on the mend soon and you can come back. I’ll text you if it gets too late and find a ride home.”

  “No, I’m coming back before then,” Colt said. If it killed him, he’d get back that soon.

  “Then go so you can.” Ashley smiled and hugged Colt again. “I’ll be here.”

  “I hope so.” Colt left the bookstore with a heavy heart. If Russ had gone home, Kenton wouldn’t be able to keep up. He could cook well, but he tended to take his time. Russ cooked fast and correctly. The only way to get caught up would be for him to step in and work hard. He needed to keep his rating with the restaurant guide and his reviews positive. If business dropped off, it’d take forever to build it back up again. He’d worked too hard up until now to lose his momentum.

  Colt sighed. He unlocked the SUV and settled behind the wheel. He needed to fix the problem at the diner, but he also needed time with his family. His relationship depended on him giving Ashley and Wyatt not only his heart, but his time, too.

  Chapter Four

  Ashley folded his arms and forced a smile. Colt was off to the diner again. He could be upset, but why? Colt had a job to do. He owned the diner, so his name was on the line if something went wrong. Now Ashley would have to find a way home and explain to Wyatt why Colt wasn’t at the party.

  “See?” Chad stood next to him. “I knew that would happen.”

  He did not. Ashley rolled his eyes. Chad liked to get into everyone’s business and act important. But… Ashley wanted to hear this explanation. “How?” He put some space between him and Chad.

  “He’s the kind of man who can’t be home. He’s not wired that way,” Chad said.

  “You don’t know that,” Ashley said. “Stop trying to make something out of nothing. I need to find my kid.”

  “Want a ride home?” Chad asked. “I’m leaving soon.”

  No way in hell was he going home with Chad. “I’m good.”

  “Ride share is expensive and I’m offering,” Chad said. “I’ll take you home. It’s too cold to walk and I doubt you live close. Come on. I’m being a nice guy and it’s Christmas. Consider it a gift.”

  “Nah. I appreciate the gesture, but I’m okay. Colt will be right back. Thanks.” He walked away from Chad. He didn’t want to think of Chad as a jerk, but damn, the guy wouldn’t leave well enough alone.

  Steve Moore stepped into Ashley’s path. “Hey.”

  “Hi.” Ashley kept going. “Have you seen Wyatt?”

  “He’s following Genie around.” Steve blocked Chad. “Hey, I need to ask you something.”

  Ashley stopped. Christmas music played, the lights twinkled, but the spirit of the season wasn’t within him. His cheer had diminished when Colt dashed. Chad wasn’t leaving him alone and Ashley wanted to go home—without Chad.

  “It’s a private conversation.” Steve clapped Ashley on the shoulder. “Sorry, Chad.” He steered Ashley toward the kids and away from Chad. “Jesus, he’s annoying.”

  “You’re telling me.” Ashley allowed himself to breathe. “Thanks. Did you really need to speak to me?”

  “Kind of.” Steve smiled. “We don’t see each other much and Chad demanded your attention. It’s obvious you’re down. Are you okay?”

  “I’m tired of Chad.” It wasn’t the entire truth, but he wasn’t in the mood to discuss Chad.

  “What happened to Colt?”


  “Diner.”

  “Ah.” Steve folded his arms and turned his back to Chad. “Now, are you okay?”

  “I am.” He spotted Wyatt on the floor with the twins stacking blocks. Genie sat next to Wyatt, seeming to orchestrate the play. Ashley nodded. “She’s good with Wyatt. He’s not acting pushy or demanding attention.”

  “You’ve changed the subject.” Steve snorted. “Yes, she’s good with Wyatt, but things aren’t good with you, are they?”

  “It’s complicated.” What was he supposed to say? He was tired of explaining his relationship. But Steve was a kindred spirit. Steve was a teacher, too, and Farin owned a business. They had a kid to consider, even if the kid was Steve’s baby sister. Maybe Steve would understand. “I’m trying to be understanding. It’s Christmas. It’s the time to come together. But Colt’s gone even more. Sometimes it feels like he doesn’t want to be home. Every time something goes wrong, he runs. He should because it’s his business, but I’ve worked in restaurant situations. I wasn’t a good server and I shouldn’t be a cook, but I observed how restaurants are run. There are managers and the owners give some control to those managers. They trust them.”

  “According to Colt, everyone’s sick. I believe it. I’ve had half a dozen kids out at any time because of the flu,” Steve said. “He’s not lying.”

  “I never thought he was.” He’d seen the flu bug go through his classroom, too.

  “Then what’s wrong? He’s not abdicating power?”

  “I started seeing Colt, we moved in together, got the dogs and were doing well because we were solid. Now? He’s never home. He missed Thanksgiving, missed my staff party, is only home four hours on any given weekend and nearly missed Wyatt’s play.” Ashley raked his fingers through his hair. “I know I’m nitpicking and things will work out once the holidays are over, but it’s tough. I’m being too hard on him and wanting too much.”

  “Ouch.”

  “It feels like we’re not important to him.”

  “You’re important, but he can only do so much,” Steve said. “I saw how he looked at you while he was here. He loves you both a lot. But he can’t stretch that far.”