Christmas in Cedarwood Read online

  “Huh?” He rubbed Wyatt’s arms. “I don’t understand.”

  “Dad says he works to put food on the table and shoes on my feet,” Wyatt said. “I don’t need shoes.”

  “Yes, you do. It’s cold.” Talk about making a mess of things…

  Wyatt stared at him.

  He’d better explain and fast. Wyatt might not understand everything, but he knew things weren’t good. “I’m working so I can do something special for your dad.” He didn’t have the heart to tell Wyatt he needed to work because he didn’t have enough staff.

  “You still like us?” Wyatt asked.

  “Very much.”

  Wyatt balled his hands. “Dad thinks you don’t.”

  “Did he say that?” He hated that Wyatt was in the middle, but the kid wasn’t ignorant. Ashley probably hadn’t said anything about being upset, but he tended to wear his emotions on his sleeve.

  “No. He’s just grumpy,” Wyatt said. “He got sad before and his other boyfriends left.”

  “Because he was sad?”

  Wyatt shrugged.

  He sighed again. “Your daddy doesn’t have another boyfriend, does he?” Jesus Christ. Why’d he ask that?

  Wyatt shook his head.

  He shouldn’t be having this conversation with an eight-year-old. He had to be smart and rein in his emotions. Time to come clean, but at Wyatt’s level. “Sometimes Daddy and I don’t get to spend much time together. It makes your daddy sad and I get sad, too.”

  “So be home.”

  “I can’t. I have to work. Things will get better soon.” He had no choice. “Just… Daddy and I love you and we love each other. It’ll be okay and none of this is your fault, okay?”

  “Will you come to my musical?”

  “I’ll do my best.” He doubted he’d make it, but he could try.

  “Okay.”

  “I’ll bet your food is out there. Go so you can eat and be your best for your show.” Colt stood tall. “You need to have something in your tummy.”

  Wyatt left him alone in the bathroom. Well, shit. He stared at his reflection. He needed to make some changes and fast. He left the restroom and joined Ashley and Wyatt at the table. He’d been gone from the kitchen too long and should check on things there, too.

  “What happened?” Ashley sipped his soda. “Did you fall in?”

  “No.” Colt sat beside him. “What time is the musical?”

  “Seven-thirty in the elementary school gym. You won’t be able to miss the signs. Mrs. Collier made sure they’re everywhere and bright red and green,” Ashley said. “Are you coming?”

  “I’ll do my best.” Colt patted Ashley’s thigh. He missed his man. He craved their closeness and Ashley’s kiss. God help him, he would get out early and he would make the musical on time. He needed to hold Ashley afterward.

  Ashley finished his sandwich. He smiled at Colt. “What?”

  “I miss you.” He draped his arm around Ashley. He probably reeked of fried chicken and sweat, but he needed to have Ashley close. He rubbed Ashley’s arm. “I’m sorry.”

  “I know.” Ashley pushed his plate aside. “We’ll have fun tonight.”

  “We will.” He wanted to be positive and not string them along, but he couldn’t tell the truth.

  Shelby arrived at the table. “Any refills?” She plunked a glass of milk on the table. “I know you do, Wy.”

  “Thank you.” Wyatt snatched the glass.

  “I’m good,” Ashley said. “But we’ll need a box.”

  Colt stood. He took the check from Shelby. “It’s on me.”

  “Colt.” Ashley sighed. “Okay.” He placed a ten on the table. “Thanks, Shelby.”

  She offered up the paper box. “Of course.” She left them alone.

  Ashley boxed the leftover fries and the other half of his sandwich. “At least I have lunch for tomorrow.”

  “I’ll be at the school,” Colt said. He’d blown right past what Ashley had said, but if he didn’t remind himself what he was supposed to do, he’d forget.

  “I’ll look for you.” Wyatt finished his mac and cheese. “Wear something bright.”

  Colt laughed. “I can’t change my clothes in time. You’ll have to look for this.”

  “Your apron?” Wyatt rolled his eyes. “Okay,” he said, drawing out the word.

  Colt spotted Nerissa at the counter. She waved at him. God damn it. What’s wrong now? He leaned over and kissed Ashley. “I’ll see you. I love you lots.”

  “Love you, too.” Ashley reached for him, then pulled back. “Get to work.”

  Colt hurried over to the counter. “Yes?”

  “The register is stuck.” Nerissa pushed the NO SALE button again. “See? I can’t get the drawer open. I need change.”

  “Okay.” He tapped the buttons and jiggled the cash drawer. The register worked fine, if it wasn’t abused. The wait staff didn’t care to be gentle with the machine.

  “You need new tech. This register should be junked,” Nerissa said. “It never works.”

  “It would work fine if you wouldn’t slam it.” He jiggled the drawer again. The front of the register opened. “Don’t slam this.”

  “I don’t.” She crinkled her nose. “Why don’t you get a tablet and one of those credit card cube readers?” she asked. “They’re not expensive.”

  “I can’t afford the cost right now—unless you’d like a pay cut.” He’d been snippy with her, but he wasn’t in the mood for anyone’s attitude.

  Shelby appeared beside him. “Nerissa, get a package of napkins from the back. We need to refill the counter napkin dispensers. Thank you.” She waited for Nerissa to walk away before she spoke again and lowered her voice. “I really want you to go to Wyatt’s thing tonight.”

  “But?” There had to be another thing going wrong. “What disaster happened this time?”

  “The dishwasher went home.” Shelby averted her gaze. “I’m sorry.”

  “When?” Christ. He needed a break. Just one damn break. “Clue me in.”

  “She threw up about half an hour ago and tried to convince Russ she wasn’t sick.” Shelby paled. “I sent her home when she got sick again. She wasn’t ready to come back.”

  The dull ache behind his eyes that seemed to be there all the time strengthened. “And?”

  “If Claudia had come in, we’d have been fine, but she’s still sick, too.” Shelby folded her hands. “It doesn’t matter. We’ll figure it out.”

  “I’ll get on it.” When he looked up, Ashley and Wyatt were gone. He hoped they hadn’t heard him speaking to Shelby. He checked his watch—six-twenty-five. He could tackle some of the dishes, change out of the apron and pop over to the elementary school to watch Wyatt—if he hurried. “Come on.”

  Colt washed the dishes and kept up with the steady stream. He hated flu bugs and washed his hands again. He checked the clock. Seven-forty-five. He dried his hands. He was late, but maybe Wyatt hadn’t gone on yet. Maybe the program was running behind. “I’ll be back.”

  “Back?” Shelby stopped short. “You’re going?”

  “Unless Wyatt’s line is over, then I’ll return faster,” Colt said. “They’ll understand, but I can’t miss this. I’ve missed too much.”

  “Go. Fingers crossed you make it.” She held up her hands.

  “I hope I do, too.” He grabbed his keys, wallet and phone from the office, then locked the door. He dashed through the kitchen to the back entrance. “I’ll be back.”

  If Shelby answered, he didn’t hear her.

  Colt drove the five blocks to the elementary school. The parking lot was already full. He pulled into one of the fifteen-minute spots by the door, then sprinted into the building. He stopped at the first table. “Concert?”

  A parent pointed and Colt tossed two dollars onto the table to pay for his ticket. “Thanks.” He hurried into the gym. The lights were already out. He couldn’t see much beyond the stage and had no idea where Ashley might be in the audience. He didn’t
see his boyfriend at the back of the room.

  Colt fought the urge to check his watch. The concert wasn’t his idea of fun. Kids were cute, but unless Wyatt was on the stage, he had no interest.

  Wyatt’s class traipsed into the spotlight. Colt’s heart hammered as he took photos and held his breath. All Wyatt had to do was get his line right. Colt nodded to the music. Pride swelled in his chest as Wyatt stepped up to the mic.

  “Thank you, farmers, for our food. Hi, Daddy and Colt.” Wyatt grinned, then strode away from the mic.

  The crowd laughed and Mrs. Collier paled as Wyatt rejoined his class.

  Colt wished he’d recorded the moment. Wyatt had recited his line and made it his own. Colt’s phone vibrated in his pocket. He gritted his teeth and ignored the device until Wyatt’s class left the stage. Once the next group stepped into the spotlight, he left the gym. He checked the number on the phone and bit back a growl. Now what did they want at the restaurant?

  “Sorry, kid. Ash.” Colt left the elementary school. He climbed behind the wheel of his car, then drove back to the diner. He parked by the kitchen door and tamped down his frustration. He locked the vehicle, then strode into the back of the restaurant. “Yeah?”

  “We’re fine.” Shelby loaded the dishwasher. “It’s a little backed up, but we’re managing. Did you miss his line?”

  “No.” Colt shucked his coat, then tossed his things into the office. He rolled his sleeves back up and joined her at the dishwasher. “Someone called me.”

  “I didn’t.” Shelby hit the button to start the washer. “We’re okay.”

  “No, we’re not.” Nerissa dumped a load of dishes onto the counter. “It’s a mess. The pop machine needs syrup, we’re out of ice and we need dishes. I called because you have to fix stuff.”

  “Hit the button on the ice machine and it’ll refill. You can’t miss the button. It says ice.” Colt nodded to the machine. “Shelby knows how to change the syrup. Did you tell her it needed changing?”

  “I can’t do everything.” Nerissa turned on her heel and walked away.

  Colt loved the diner, but this reinforced his notion that the place would fall apart without him. “I’m on the dishes.”

  “I’ll take care of the pop machine.” Shelby tapped the button on the ice maker and a fresh load of ice dumped into the bin. She hurried out of sight to the basement.

  Colt rolled his shoulders and resumed washing dishes.

  By the time he arrived home that night, he wanted to collapse. He pulled into the garage and parked. Although he wanted to head in, he stayed in the car and enjoyed the silence. No one needed him. Nothing was broken and nothing demanded his attention. He left the vehicle and ventured into the house. The lights, save for a strand of Christmas ones, were off. He locked the garage, then toed out of his sneakers. He abandoned his wallet, phone and keys on the counter. He unplugged the lights, then hurried to the second floor.

  Colt peeked in on Wyatt. The dogs, Liz and Dick, were jumbled together on Wyatt’s bed. Neither dog looked up as he opened then closed the bedroom door.

  Colt ventured down to the room he shared with Ashley. His boyfriend was already asleep. Colt stripped, brushed his teeth then joined his lover in bed. Bone-deep weariness washed over him. He didn’t want to move for eight hours.

  “You’re home.” Ashley rolled onto his back. “Did you get to the musical? I looked for you.”

  “I did,” he whispered. “I liked Wyatt’s ad lib.” He draped his arm across Ashley’s taut belly. “I’m sorry I had to leave early, but I was there. I took pictures.”

  “He’ll be happy you were there.” Ashley sighed and rolled into Colt as he fell back to sleep.

  Colt held his boyfriend. The day hadn’t gone quite how he’d wanted, but the night hadn’t been a total loss. He was home with Ashley. Christmas was coming soon and he’d figure out something to make up for being gone so much.

  A kernel of an idea started to form in his mind, but he succumbed to sleep before he could sort the plan out. He’d do that later—after sleep.

  Chapter Three

  Seven days until Christmas…

  “Hey, Ash?” Colt strode into the family room. “Did you RSVP for the Christmas party at the bookstore?” He had time and wanted to attend. Hell, he wanted to be seen in public with his family. They all needed a good Christmas memory.

  Ashley closed his gradebook. “I did, but I forgot it’s tonight. Did you want to go? If we don’t show up, it’s not a huge deal.”

  “We should go.” Colt sat beside him on the sofa. “Wyatt would like to see the kids and we haven’t been out together in a while. It’d be nice to hold your hand in public.”

  Ashley half-smiled. “You don’t have to go to the restaurant? You’re taking the night off?” He laced his fingers with Colt’s. “I’m glad. I do want to go with you.”

  “Then get Wyatt and we’ll head over to the bookstore.” Colt kissed Ashley’s knuckles. “I’m excited. We don’t get to do this enough.”

  “We don’t.” Ashley kissed him. “It’ll be a great time.”

  Colt nodded. “It will.” He let go as Ashley stood. He liked making Ashley happy. He headed up to the bedroom and changed his shirt. If he was going out with the family, he didn’t want to smell like the diner. For a split second, he considered grabbing a second shirt in case the workers called. No, he’d let them run the show tonight. He needed a break

  Ashley strode into the bedroom. “Wyatt’s excited. I forgot he earned a free book for reading five books in the month of December.”

  “Good for him.” He didn’t know Wyatt was in the running for a free book. “Through Colin? Or the school?”

  “School, but Colin sponsored it.” Ashley switched into a dark green button-down. “Wyatt had the chance in first grade to earn free books, but he didn’t want to read. Now he’s all about reading because he can win stuff.” He brushed his hair. “The system is a graduated one. First, the students have to read a book, then they get a free bookmark that tracks what books they read. It’s really just a piece of cardstock, but it’s got their name on it. Then they have to read five books. If they do that, they get a free used book. Colin has a whole box they can choose from. Once they accomplish those tasks, then they have to read twenty-five books. They’ve had since the first day of school, so it takes them some time. Wyatt did that and earned a free ice-cream cone at the Dairy Twist. The next goal is to read five books in December. It’s a short month, so it’s a harder goal. He did that, so he’s entitled to a free book. Really, the goal is that he’s read thirty-one books. He doesn’t care. He wants free stuff.”

  “Well, good for him.” Damn. What a reading machine! He hadn’t even known Wyatt was in the running to earn anything, let alone books and ice cream.

  “He’s happy and can read those graphic novels he loves.” Ashley shrugged. “He has to take a test on the book, so it’s not like he can phone it in or lie.” He stared at Colt and a grin spread across his face.

  “What?” He loved the look on Ashley’s face, but he wondered why his lover smiled.

  “I’m happy.” Ashley slid his arms around Colt. “I know that sounds terrible”

  “It doesn’t.” He wasn’t following Ashley’s line of reasoning.

  “But it could,” Ashley said. “I want you home and you can’t be. Sometimes I hate the diner and now that you’re here, I’m happy. That’s terrible. I shouldn’t be jealous.”

  “Ash.” Damn. He couldn’t fault Ashley for his feelings, even if they cut him to the marrow.

  “But I understand. I’m tired of your being gone because it sucks, but I get it. You have a job to do. I might need you here, but you’re needed there, too.”

  How often do you need me here? “I know.”

  “It’s just nice to go to something with you instead of going in separate cars or on my own. You don’t know how lonely it gets.” Ashley let go. “But it’ll be good tonight.”

  “Yeah?” He doubted Ashley w
as trying to guilt-trip him. Ashley liked to be forthright and honest. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t laying on some serious guilt. He loved Ashley and knew him, but he felt awful anyway.

  Ashley didn’t understand the loneliness he felt, too. He might be surrounded by people and in a public place, but they weren’t the people he loved. He’d rather be home. He had a job to do. Too bad that the job didn’t fit into Ashley’s plans.

  He gritted his teeth. He didn’t like the way he felt. For the first time in their relationship, he resented Ashley. Not good. He couldn’t help that Ashley had a problem with his job any more than he could help him having to be responsible. Ashley had chosen to help make a kid and to take on the responsibility of the child. He had to handle his choices in life and so did Colt.

  Fucking shit. He massaged his temple. He didn’t like his line of reasoning. He’d gone down a bad road. Ashley was doing his best to help. But he’d known this would happen. He’d start hating Ashley for getting irritated. They were heading down different paths.

  Why’d things have to go this direction at Christmas? Jesus. He wanted nothing more than a drink. He could get drunk right now and not solve anything. Still, he craved a glass of bourbon. He could destroy two bottles without a second thought.

  Only he could ruin Christmas by falling off the wagon and getting blitzed. But why? Drinking wouldn’t solve anything. He had a kid to think about. They weren’t two men screwing up their relationship. Ashley and Wyatt deserved better from him. They weren’t trying to be a thorn in his side. They’d done a lot to adjust to him. He needed to bend to them a bit, too.

  Wyatt needed stability. He was thriving in a two-parent home. Colt couldn’t mess with that.

  Colt sank onto the bed. Ashley wasn’t trying to upset him. He probably didn’t realize he had. He was just expressing his happiness.

  Colt dragged a deep breath into his lungs and exhaled. He needed to face his family and stop blaming them. He needed to get the hell out of his head, too. Jesus. No one was trying to hurt his feelings.

  Stop thinking too hard. Ashley’s excited to be with you because he loves you.

  Ashley returned to the bedroom. “Is everything okay? I overstepped, didn’t I?”