Scoring in Cedarwood Page 5

  “I’m sorry to hear that.” He couldn’t imagine being in Tanner’s shoes. He hadn’t talked to his parents in ages, but he trusted they were okay.

  Tanner shrugged. “After they split, she became someone else. She drank a lot, never worked, had a new guy every couple weeks… It wasn’t a good place to have a kid. She’d threaten to send me to Dad’s if I misbehaved. A child shouldn’t have to live like that.”

  “No, you shouldn’t,” Dane murmured. Tanner’s situation must’ve reinforced his decision to live a nomadic life. No need for ties if he never knew how long he’d be kept around.

  Tanner rapped his knuckles on the counter. “You got me to open up. That doesn’t happen unless I’m talking to an owner I’m trying to impress.” He bumped Dane’s knee with his own. “Devlin doesn’t know about my mom.”

  Electricity shot through Dane’s body. He wanted to collide with Tanner again. He patted Tanner’s hand and took away the fork. The sizzles increased. He suppressed a groan. Being so close to Tanner was dangerous, but hot. “I’ll consider myself lucky then.” Had his voice gotten lower? The temperature in the room must’ve spiked. Damn. He needed to shuck a layer of clothing.

  “You are lucky.” Tanner didn’t pull away for another moment.

  Does he feel the electricity, too?

  “I should hit the sack. I’ve got another round of practices before the big game on Saturday.” Tanner hesitated. “If you can make it, I’d appreciate having a fan there.”

  “You’ll have lots of fans. Everyone loves you,” Dane said. “You’re Foxy.”

  “Maybe, but you seem to see the real me.” Tanner smiled then left his stool and ducked out of the room.

  Dane sighed. He had to be rusty at knowing the signals, but he could’ve sworn Tanner had flirted with him. The food, conversation, touches…holy shit. If they hadn’t been flirting, then he was clueless.

  He closed the paper box. He had to check his schedule—he’d be on call this weekend. He couldn’t shirk his duties at the office, but maybe he wouldn’t be needed all that much during the game. He wanted to see Tanner, not on the app, but in action.

  Tanner strolled to his room and couldn’t hide the smile. He’d gotten the doctor to converse with him. Sure, he’d done most of the talking, but so what? He’d spent time with Dane. Maybe he’d even convince Dane to attend the game. One step at a time.

  Chapter Four

  The next afternoon, Tanner changed out of his sweaty practice uniform. He stood in front of his locker, his muscles aching. He’d done two hours of batting practice and three of outfield drills. He still loved the game, but would rather be playing in an actual contest, not going through the motions.

  Zeppelin Starr, the current darling of the Wildcats, edged in beside Tanner.

  “Hi.” Tanner pulled a towel from his locker, then grabbed his shampoo. “Good game?”

  “It wasn’t bad.” Zeppelin elbowed Tanner. “We’ll be better when you’re on the field. I heard you’re working hard. I’m surprised they didn’t have you observing the game.”

  “I wanted to, but Coach figured I’d be better with more practice,” Tanner said. “We’ve been contracted to do our best and go for wins, so I’m trying to fulfill my role on the team. You have to put in work to get results.”

  “Do you take breaks?” Zeppelin asked. “Or are you all work?”

  “Depends on who happens to be asking.” If Dane wanted to explore their off-hours together, he’d be all in.

  “What if I’m asking?” Zeppelin followed Tanner to the showers. While Tanner stripped out of his boxer briefs, Zeppelin shucked his clothes, too. He stepped into the stall next to Tanner. “What would you say?”

  “I’d be surprised.” Was Zeppelin coming on to him? He fiddled with the faucet handle and stepped under the spray. The heat soothed his muscles and the noise gave him a moment to compose his thoughts. He wasn’t interested in Zeppelin. Maybe he had alternative tastes, but he tended to gravitate toward older men. Zeppelin was younger than him by two years.

  “Why would you be shocked? You’re hot. I’m hot. If we go out together and get seen around town…we could show Cedarwood our baseball team is fabulous and filled with sexy guys.” Zeppelin lathered his washcloth. “We’d bring positive attention to the town and our team. We all win.”

  “Ah.” He nodded. Zeppelin wasn’t flirting—he was talking business. Boring. “We get people excited about the Wildcats, eh?”

  “Yeah. Go to a bar, hang out with the locals and get pictures taken.” Zeppelin elbowed him again and splashed Tanner. “And if we happen to leave together, I know a great club near Cleveland that asks no questions.”

  “What do you have in mind?” Tanner asked. He wasn’t sure he wanted to club with Zeppelin, but a guy could have options.

  “Lower your voice.” Zeppelin crowded in beside Tanner. “Cedarwood isn’t cool with gays. I’d come out, but I don’t want to lose my job.”

  “They can’t fire you for being gay.” If he proved he’d lost his knack at the game, then yes, he could be removed, but not for his sexuality. Besides, he hadn’t pegged Zeppelin as being gay.

  “They can trade us.”

  “If you’re playing well and getting along with the others on the team, then there’s no issue.” He inched away from Zeppelin and finished washing himself. He dunked his head under the spray again. If Zeppelin was so worried about anyone hearing him, then why the hell was he standing so damn close? “No one has to know either one of us is gay.”

  “So you’re fine with everyone knowing you’re gay?” Zeppelin asked.

  “I don’t care who knows.” He washed his hair. “If you’re trying to get me to say I’m gay, save your breath. I am and I’m proud. I don’t make a big deal about being open, but I won’t lie.”

  “You’re so popular.” Zeppelin shrank away from him. “I don’t understand.”

  “You can’t be a favorite and be gay?” Tanner snorted. “I need to focus. I’m here for the team, not to get a date.” He rinsed the suds from his hair. “Happy showering.” He stepped under the showerhead once more, then turned the water off and grabbed his towel.

  “Wait.” Zeppelin hurried through the rest of his shower.

  Tanner strode back to his locker and donned a fresh T-shirt then stepped into clean boxer briefs. He draped the towel over the bench. He wasn’t in the mood to talk to Zeppelin. Why discuss his sexuality? If Zeppelin didn’t want a date and wasn’t trying to warn him, then what was the big deal? He withdrew his phone from his locker and checked the player app. Someone had logged in. Good. He hoped Dane had watched him practice.

  “So you don’t want to club?” Zeppelin asked. “We’d make a great duo.”

  “Maybe.” Tanner put on a pair of jeans. “I need to get moving. I’ve got laundry to do when I get home.”

  “You’re a tough nut to crack.” Zeppelin stood beside him, clothed only in the towel. “How can I play alongside you and trust you have my back on the field if you can’t tell me the truth?”

  “About what?” He donned his socks. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I’m trying to get into a rhythm with the team. After my first game, we can discuss the club thing again.” He stepped into his shoes then stuffed his phone and wallet into his bag. “You know, I almost thought you were trying to get me to say something about coming out in front of everyone. The way you asked your questions and got so pushy, I’d think you don’t want gay people on the team. I’m told Cedarwood can be less than welcoming to the LGBT community, but I’m not worried.” He’d heard the rumors of threats and violence but ignored them. He wasn’t causing anyone trouble and wasn’t doing anything wrong. Hell, he wasn’t with anyone.

  “I’m hurt.” Zeppelin remained in his towel. The terrycloth separated, giving glimpses of his dick. “I thought you were different.”

  “Me?” He shook his head. “No.”

  “I had to ask. Being a hot player—one popular with the ladies—and to
make a big deal about coming here, it makes the coalition happy. They want our team to be straight. You being so good with the ladies makes it seem like you’re not gay.”

  “That’s ridiculous.” Tanner shook his head and picked up his bag. “I’m not out to reveal anyone’s secret or date anyone from the team. I want to play ball. Whether I prefer dick or pussy isn’t important, but I am gay. So what?”

  “Just remember you’re here for baseball.” Zeppelin folded his arms. “Oh, and I’m not actually gay. I lied to test you.”

  “That’s fucked up,” Tanner spat. “You came on to me.”

  “I just…it’s a test. I needed to know I can trust you.” Zeppelin shrugged but didn’t otherwise move.

  “If you’re not gay, then you be the special one that the coalition can hold up as an example. Let me play ball. I can handle myself,” Tanner said. “Okay?”

  “Cool.”

  Tanner suppressed his irritation. He had to speak to Devlin and his head coach, Skipper. After the confusing conversation with Zeppelin, he wanted to know what he was up against with the coalition. The group of people wanting to rid the town of Cedarwood of gays was fucked in the head. Who cared if he sucked dick as long as he did his job? “I’ll see you tomorrow. I’m set to start in left field for the first game of the double-header.”

  “Nice.” Zeppelin waved but didn’t look Tanner in the eye. “Just remember what I said.”

  He’d never forget it. He left the locker room and headed straight to Devlin’s office. He knocked twice before nudging door. Devlin claimed he had an open-door policy. Instead of sitting at his desk, Devlin stood between a pair of legs in front of the desk. Tanner cleared his throat. He shouldn’t have barged in, but if anyone else caught Devlin and friend, they might not be so nice.

  Devlin froze. The hands and legs around him stilled.

  “We’ve been caught,” the man with Devlin said.

  Tanner knew the voice—Dr. Raji, the team doctor. He didn’t care if Devlin screwed the doctor, but they probably shouldn’t be getting close at the stadium.

  “Sorry.” Devlin detangled from Raji and stood beside him. “That was unprofessional.”

  “You don’t have to apologize to me. I walked in with little warning.” Tanner entered the room and shut the door. He hadn’t given Devlin and Raji much notice of his presence. “What you do and with whom is your business. If you’re happy, then great. I don’t care and you don’t need my permission anyhow.”

  “It’s been a long day,” Devlin said from beside Raji. “Now you know our secret.”

  “I’m cool with it.” Tanner dropped his bag on the floor. “But others might not be.”

  “What did you need?” Devlin asked. “One of us?”

  “You, but it’ll concern you both.” Tanner sat on the thin arm of the nearest chair. “I know the policy about dating sponsors. I’m not, so there’s no issue there, but what about the players dating each other? Is that prohibited? Daly and Selzer want to join the team. They’re together, but they’re married.” How would the coalition, bent on removing gays from Cedarwood, handle a happily married gay couple on their baseball team?

  “I don’t believe there’s a rule, no.” Devlin glanced over at Raji. “It’s not encouraged because it can lead to issues on the field, but Daly and Selzer are exceptions to the rule—and they aren’t on the team as of yet. We’ve also not had to worry about anyone dating until now.”

  “I see.” He mulled over the information. Devlin had explained the situation just fine. “Then there’s no problem with me being gay? Daly and Selzer are gay. Raji, you’re gay. Being homosexual isn’t a big deal, right?”

  “No one cares if you’re gay,” Devlin said. “I’d appreciate decorum—meaning don’t screw anything and everything while getting on the local news doing it. Live your life. If you’re gay, then great. If not, that’s great, too.”

  “I’m homosexual.” He hadn’t hidden it up to this point. Why start now? “I thought you knew.”

  “I didn’t check and it wasn’t my business to know.”

  Raji stood. “I should go.”

  “Wait,” Tanner said. “If there’s a rule against being gay and living our lives as homosexuals, as long as we’re careful and mindful of our roles on the team, then I want to know. If there’s not, then why would another player be testing me? Why would they ask if I’m gay and act like it’s a big deal?”

  “Tested?” Raji asked. “The only one doing any kind of testing is me. Not even the trainers handle drug tests.”

  “Not drug testing.” Tanner folded his arms. “Look, I didn’t fight being traded because I wanted to try this market. I like Cedarwood—what I’ve seen of it. I want to play ball and inspire kids to take up the game. I’m not here to pimp myself out to call attention to the team. If there’s a fucked-up plan or whatever in place to ferret out guys for being gay or my being out will make me a target, I want to know.”

  “Wait.” Devlin put his hands up. “Have you been approached by the coalition?”

  “Not by name, but I’ve been tested to see if I’ll admit I’m gay or if I’ll make a pass at another player,” Tanner said.

  Raji sighed. “We knew they’d find a way in.”

  “We did,” Devlin muttered. He turned his attention to Tanner. “Who did it? Who got nosy?”

  He didn’t want to name anyone. Careers could be at stake. “Why? I don’t want to get anyone fired.”

  Devlin lowered his voice. “The coalition lives to make hash out of the lives of people in the LGBT community. You’ve met Colin and Farin Baker, right?”

  Tanner nodded. He rather liked the brothers who ran the bookstore in town.

  “They and their respective partners have been in the crosshairs of the coalition. Graffiti was sprayed on Colin’s vehicle, shit was delivered to his home, there have been incidents of public embarrassment, shouting matches, loss of business and things have been said to their children. It’s out of control.”

  Tanner shook his head. He hadn’t heard any of those things in the rumors but knowing Devlin didn’t lie… Fear gripped him. Combined with what Zeppelin had said and the concern in Devlin’s eyes, he’d had enough. “That’s not how I want to live my life—worried about who’s watching me.”

  “We never said you did,” Raji said. “But you should know these people are ruthless. I’ve been the target of offensive acts. I’ve never hidden the fact I’m homosexual, but I lost half of my patients when the word fag was spray-painted on the building. I’ve been followed and assaulted, too.”

  Jesus. “Let them come at me.” He straightened his spine. “I’m ready. I’ll show everyone I’m not here to be pushed around. I can and will play at my highest level.” He wasn’t going to let anyone keep him from the game he loved.

  “I hope you do.” Devlin sighed. “Be ready for hurled beer cups and food wrappers. Even if you’re playing well, some folks don’t like gay in their sports.”

  He should’ve checked the market he’d been traded to before he’d come, but there hadn’t been time. Besides, he’d had no choice. He’d gone where he’d been offered a job. “I’ve been attacked before and I’m not backing down.”

  Feelings he’d supressed came to the surface. His anger won out and he balled his hands. “I want everyone who comes to the ballfield to know we’re inclusive. I don’t have to wear my sexuality on my sleeve, but I’m not ashamed. I’m not going to stand by and watch a group bully everyone they don’t like or me because I might have a boyfriend. I’ve had some of my dearest friends commit suicide because they were pushed around for being homosexual. I’m not burying another friend.”

  He stood and picked up his bag. He’d unleashed more frustration than he’d thought he still held. He’d come to Cedarwood and every other baseball team he’d played for to be a role model and damn it, he took his job seriously.

  “I’m behind you all the way,” Devlin said. “I appreciate strong figures on my team.”

  “
Same goes for me,” Raji said.

  “Don’t let the coalition break you.” Devlin grasped Raji’s hand. “We’re trying not to capitulate to them. It’s tough.”

  “I can see why.” Tanner held tight to his bag. “Thanks for the information. I’ll speak to Coach about what I’ve learned, but I’m guessing he already knows.”

  “He does, but he’ll appreciate your candor,” Devlin said.

  “Good luck,” Raji said.

  “Talk to Coach. We’re all sick of the coalition. Coach just wants the Wildcats to play ball. If you can jumpstart the change and prove you’re a ballplayer no matter who you sleep with, then do it. We need to shake things up.”

  “Agreed.” He slung his bag over his shoulder. “Thanks and see you.” He needed to be somewhere else and knew just where he wanted to start the shaking.

  * * * *

  Dane sat in his car and listened to the silence in the garage. His brain buzzed. Every time he’d thought he could settle down and his schedule would even out, something else hit, causing turmoil. The strain of flu making the rounds in Cedarwood hadn’t died down at all. His appointment schedule had been filled and double-booked at times. He loved his job, but if he didn’t have to listen to another hacking cough for at least twelve hours, he’d be happy.

  He noticed the empty spot in the garage. Tanner wasn’t back yet. Huh. He probably had a later practice. That had to be the case. What else would a handsome man, a single one at that, be doing on a Friday night? Not sitting alone in a damn garage.

  He sagged in his seat. No matter what he did, he would never shed his dorky image. He had no life outside work. He’d convinced himself all he needed was his work… Who was he kidding? He wanted to be loved and held—not to be alone.

  Dane left the car and headed into the main part of the house. His stomach growled. He wished he had some of the pasta left over. He could order a pizza, though. Where was the menu for Maddel’s Pizza?

  He flattened his palms on the counter. Damn. He’d reverted to dorkiness again. He’d be alone with his pizza on a Friday night. Sure, he had to work in the morning and be on call through the weekend, but he deserved a few hours out…tonight?